Clay Tabernacles

I wish I knew even it started but I'm pretty sure it was between birth and the premortal world. I had to choose the life I wanted.. and this was what I chose. I cannot believe I did because I feel like I'm unable to do shit.

I was born into generational alcoholism in 1977, as the first born daughter to my parents, Doug and Sue Matz. My parents were adult children of alcoholics, not drinking but showing antisocial behaviors that were alcoholic. It's hard to explain it if you've never had to deal with it before. But my parents did not drink. Their   parents did and so on. I believe incest and severe trauma was handed down, generation to generation. It wasn't stopped with my parents because although they were religious, they lacked in tact, self discipline, clear thinking and laundry list. This was what I had to fully concede to as a child. Being taught to keep secrets, etc and getting my soul raped daily because of the serious boundary issues. Depression came early for me and by the time I was five I hated myself and wanted to kill myself. This was also due to the fact that I was pinned by a car at two years old and then left in the ER alone after such a traumatic situation occurred. I believe th

You're not alone Your friends stand beside you as your anger explodes Energy rising inside and words deride following along mobbing hearts  combine.. mental warpath a target for life!! a solemn commitment no room "for her" in sight! Empathy suspended,  Its time to FIGHT! NLM 

A Modern Day Vision, as.. I do Get Them  This morning I woke up from a terrifying nightmare trying to catch my breath. My heart raced and sweat covered my body. The dream had immersed me into an unforgettable and paralyzing state of dread and terror. After initially struggling to make sense of what was happening, I soon recovered my senses and calmed down, trying to understand what had happened. The nightmare in "set" in a modern-day dystopia and I am "inside" another person thing. I can feel 'It's' near-fatal wounds all over.. 'It's/My' body lying in a bed in a medical facility. 'It'/I was waiting to see a professional, fearful that my life was ending. As I waited in suspense, I kept hearing this rattlesnake shake. That sound sent waves of terror through me. The rattlesnake shake sound is impending punishment for 'It'. For the justice over the 'bad things' 'It' had done. (Break from the dream) I thought it

22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist  By  The Minds Journal Editorial  The empath gets attracted to a narcissist.  Their relationship  starts. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally fulfilled even though the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond. The empath feels satisfied and thinks their love is reciprocated just by being around the narcissist. 2  The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don’t find even once. Narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break free. 3  Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath. Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy and love and is in their complete control.  4  As the time will pass, the  narcissist  will make the empath fe

Top Five Signs Someone Likes me, with Romantic Playlist ".. .And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.." Gibral Being single on and off through my life, I've dated men from different backgrounds and have   discovered their true feelings  through a   universal language called chemistry,  mimpathy, or ghosting. I found the signs and signals, that encourage love, and will share  my top five most  adored ways I know someone likes me. Are you ready? Lets ride ... youtu.be/RF0HhrwIwp0 Kings of Leon,"Sex on Fire" #5  Honesty The light of truth is burning up transcendentally and I can smell it, taste it, feel it.  Whenever there is a budding romantic relationship, it is driven by honesty. The fire we feel is fed by our honest declarations , baring our vulnerable parts to another. If we are  being honest, then affection will be broadcasted by actions, thoughts, feelings.  S