Clay Tabernacles

If I was asked, "what are my real intentions and goals?" it wouldn't matter what I said. My heart is on my sleeve and so it's not a secret. My intentions are good!! However, I'm challenged by messages I hear about myself and others. Those messages are loud and I get confused about who I am. It's true, I can have uncomfortable times with my whole thought process.  However, coming back to my root goals makes me clear about my real intentions. My deepest goals are my spiritual ones for me and Jack. To  nurture his being into maturity with a light hand and a deeper faith is my ideal. That's something I've been working on and through for a while. I'm learning as I go on how to be nurturing or to nurture best. So, going to Parenting classes and taking a course on Theraplay was a good investment.  Using Theraplay, the mechanism is to announce what my child is doing. I then continue to narrate his actions and follow along with his activiti

                                                                                                                                                                                                          #4 Seasons by Chris Cornell tps:// youtu.be/TksqEIl1uxU   Feeling Word: Proud His awkward and shadowy smile made her think, "he is proud of me." Awakening Mindfulness: Putting Negative Self Talk to Sleep Cont. Paradoxically, this technique also sounds simple. It is, yet it isn’t. Trust me if that sounds like a Zen Koan to you, then you’re on the right track.  Rooted in Eastern religions the idea of self-awareness and non-judgment IS like a Zen koan. Merriam Web dictionary explains a koan as  “ a paradox to be meditated upon that is used to train Zen Buddhist monks to abandon ultimate dependence on reason and to force them into gaining sudden intuitive enlightenment”. Just like a koan, mindfulness are non-judgemental self awareness requi

Listening to great music always helps my anxiety. It is a big part of my life and I wanted to share a few of them with you. Also, I'm going to touch on a life lesson I learned again and again. That lesson is called accepting feelings. When I relax and think about what is going on in my body I can figure out what I need. Then I follow the path of the feeling I am having. I ask myself why am I so sad or angry, happy and glad? Usually, I can see in my mind the person or thing that I'm feeling big feelings around. I get to that place of recognizing what it is I'm telling myself about these frustrations and then change my self-talk. It gets easier the more feeling words I have to use. Today I'm going to share a few emotions I am not as acquainted with for fun. I'm going to try and use it in a sentence that I could possibly say someday. NLM #10  Peter Bjorn  And John - Young Folks https:// youtu.be/OIRE6iw-ws4 Feeling Word: Rapture We are all apart

I found out recently that my ex-has come out of the abyss to claim his ownership on Jack. Because He loves him? Well, I would hope so, however, I heard in his response to my final divorce decree, that He would be willing to do the "even" years for claiming taxes. Why that's a slap in the face for my son, me and anyone involved. He even had his wife write it up. I'm chilled to the bone thinking I must deal with him again.. I found an entry in my Journal. 11/28/13 "I found out they are charging him with a felony 3 DV. I feel scared that he will retaliate and I will be defenseless. I'm still hurting for him, to talk to him and check on him. Crazy to think that I have been with someone like that for awhile and am still drawn to him. I hate that I feel so sorry for people that I put myself second." 11/29/13 "It's interesting when I told the chaplain how I was feeling bad for David because of the charges, she said that I was doing his Emotiona

The softness of this song “Mary Did You Know” as sung by the Von Trap Family,  http://spoti.fi/2zILdAn  feels closest to what version of the song I'm crushing on. Albeit it isn't settling in me very well. Like a sliver that I can't ignore. No matter what singer or version plays, there is an injustice filling me. My relationship with Christ, my King and God, and knowing who he is has impressed another feeling on me. I do not feel Christ would want us to feel sad about His personal relationship with His Mother. It isn't our place to talk about Christ's Mother's experience or imaginary experience. It seems that "Mary Did You Know" sung by various artists, bears feelings of sadness to me. Although mysterious and illustrates a Divine relationship, it is not our place. We are not Mary or Christ, and to comment on or be apart with, isn't appropriate. Through our relationship, It is clear to me that Christ is only about the Light. That Light of whi